Notes on Notes from the 90’s

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This is a blog. No sense in denying it. This is, in 2020, a blog. Today I was struck by the preposterous reason for using such an antiquated medium to communicate with potential, uh, let’s say, fans. That thought was immediately supplanted by another thought which affirmed this was actually the perfect medium for a series of musings titled, ‘Notes from the 90’s’. 

It suits the atmosphere. Ten years ago, I thought blogs were idiotic. Why am I now thrusting myself into one so fervently? Back in 2010, when I started dong stand up, everyone had a blog. A blog and a solid web presence. Of course I attempted to write a blog. Then about halfway through, I just thought, this is not how you get successful. Plus, it was no fun. What was fun was getting better at stand-up. It involved way less knowledge of Java Script. 

Same thing goes for websites. Everyone had a glistening, shiny website. Bam-Zap-Pow would go the graphics on the best ones. Those comedians were ironically on the whole the absolute opposite live on stage of the kind of excitement their websites promised. 

I’m not knocking it. Well, at least not on purpose. It was probably the smart move. 

Get a fan base. That’s the thing. That was always the mantra. Thing is, whenever I set out to do that I was always struck by this nagging feeling that in order to do that, you would have to be good. Was I good? Maybe. Could I be better? Yes, always. So why am I wasting my time with this boring crap then? The real work is done up there! Off I went to perform. 

Still, ten years on now and it seems that the rallying cry for the fanbase is everywhere. That is the golden ticket. A lot of people claim to have one. 

Seems like a lot of hassle. Do not get me wrong, I would ideally love to have a hoard of people who are aware enough of my stuff, that when they see I am playing somewhere they buy a ticket or if they see I released something, they give it a watch. 

To have to manage a base though. Man, I just don’t know that it is within my wheelhouse. Oh, this looks terrible doesn’t it? 

Lazy! You all say. You must promote yourself. Well, listen, I enrich myself by trying to better myself. When I achieve that, can’t someone else promote me? I’m creating jobs! 

This is isn’t coming out right. I suppose what O am saying is that maybe blogging was no fun because everyone was doing and so when I would go to post back then, it was a bit bleak, in that it reminded you that no one was reading it. Made you feel small. Writing alone, and keeping it to yourself was nice, because it was for you, it wasn’t tainted by being attached to some desperate desire to gain recognition. That desire kills every thing. Don’t you think? Can you honestly tell me you kids don’t feel a little sad every time you post some moment on Instagram. 

It’s like you are having your own insignificance reported back to you as it is judged within the faux reality of this virtual Matrix. The whole world didn’t give a shit about that event, so what? It has less worth now? If you didn’t experience that lethargic reception would it still be worthless? I doubt it. Any attachment to a desired result ruins the moment. 

That’s probably why I’m not competitive. Trying to win ruined the game. Was a big hassle worrying about winning or losing. 

Probably why I am enjoying this blog. I know no ones reading it. That’s what makes it fun.